“Ku Berharga Bagi-Mu”
Camping Rohani, Tumpang, Malang, July 18-24, 2011
Finally, I flew to Malang to have the youth camp. I’ve been dreaming to join this camp since 3 years ago. Well, here’s my story!
I went to Malang with 2 of my friends, Yayaw and Devi. With tight luggage and well prepared stuffs we went to Malang by plane. The camp site was in Pertapaan Karmel (Carmelite’s Hermitage), at Ngadireso. It’s in Tumpang village, near the city of Malang. The Putri Karmel Sisters lived there with the CSE Brothers. But during the camp, the CSE Brothers were not there, they have their celebration in the other Carmelite’s site, Cikanyere.
There are around 200 participants in this camp. The participants come from several provinces in Indonesia, mostly Javanese. The theme of this camp is ‘Ku Berharga Bagi-Mu’ or in English ‘I’m worthy to You’.
#1 day: Monday
We were picked up by mom’s friend. The driver drove us to the youth camp site. We arrived there in the afternoon, so we had plenty of time to rest and to go around the site before the opening Mass started. We were surprised to see the small (3×3) bedroom and the thin bed. It’s ok for me. I love the simplicity of small village and modest lifestyle of theirs. (Sick and tired living in the big city.)
Then, we had the opening Mass and introductory session in the night. The crews introduced the theme song of this camp and performed a mime play. I was touched and I love the theme song so much.
#2 day: Tuesday
Today was session’s day, because we had 3 teaching sessions. But in the morning we had ‘Doa Yesus’ (Jesus prayer – the meditation pray that say Jesus’ name only), yes this is my favorite prayer. But it was truly hard for me to go deeper and to put concentration in prayer. I don’t know why. Well, we’ll have another Jesus prayer on Thursday.
Our first session was ‘Cinta Kasih Allah’ (God’s Love). Sessions was kind’a boring, you know. But the second and third session were not. The participants who had joined this kind of retreat (life in the spirit retreat) were separated. We got different teaching.
The second session was delivered by a Fr. Sugeng, a priest who looked like Bo Sanchez. He was extremely expressive. His joke was so funny yet deeply religious. He taught us about Courage – (I will write a special article for this. Wait for the ‘Courage vs. Brave’ article.) And the third session was delivered by a Sister. It’s about the three theological virtues, faith-hope-love. (Check out my Faith, Hope and Love article. Soon to be released.)
And we had the afternoon Mass celebrated by Fr. Sugeng. At the evening we had performances from the participants from Semarang and the surprising performance by the Putri Karmel Sisters. Such a funny play they performed. We went to sleep around 10 pm. A nice day.
We had the nature meditation in the morning. We gathered around the Mary Cave. We contemplated on the nature around us. The view is awesome, the air is so fresh, the weather is cold, the sun shines brightly, the sky is blue, the soil is green, the plants are colorful and it’s so natural. I could feel God’s love though the nature that silently spoke to me.
Three sessions were waiting for us. I was surprised that one of the sessions was about TOB – Theology of the Body. Fr. Benny Phang, O.Carm delivered this session. He taught the theory well, but not really much about chastity which is more easily to be understood. But I liked this session. He completely explained about the basic of TOB. He covered all main points of TOB, great!
One crazy thing I did on this camp is to be one of the altar server in the Mass. I’m not an altar server, but I was very interested in serving the Mass. The crews needed some altar server for the Mass. And I offered myself, without telling them that I’m not an altar server hahaha. I thought that today’s Mass would be an ordinary Mass, but it’s not! It’s St. Elijah’s feast, Carmelite’s primary saint. Wrrroww! There’re 4 server and we used the thurible in this Mass! I was shocked. I was chosen to ring the bell (gong) and to be in the front to serve the Priest.
This was my first Mass to be an altar server. I made several mistakes in the training and during the real Mass. Lol. I was so nervous. I could not concentrate in prayer well. Unfortunately, I have no any photo of mine on this first altar serving.
On the night we had Adoration, the one I’d been waiting for. The Sisters lifted up prayer softly and Jesus touched our heart softly too.
We had Jesus prayer again in the morning. Still, it’s hard for me to concentrate well. I struggled in my prayer. I will try this prayer again after the camp. It’s a good prayer to reach our inner being / spirit.
Outbound! We had outbound today! We were spited up in 20 groups and we competed in 5 games. The games were exciting. At the end of the games, we were wet. Our faces were smudged with charcoal. And we’re tired. At last my group didn’t win. Well, I had a great group anyway.
By the way, we had a 3-hour break time to bath and to take rest on each day during the camp. Sometimes I took a nap, and on some days, I went to the Adoration room and stayed there for an hour. The best rest ever!
We had Marian Mass. We had the Mass around the Mary cave. Fr. Simon, O.Carm led this Mass and passionately preach about Mary, knowing the Blessed Virgin through the Bible.
At the evening we had the Taize Adoration. The same Adoration as yesterday’s but we sang the Taize song. Awesome Adoration to the Blessed Sacrament!
This is the ‘main’ day. The important sessions were held today, such as the repentance prayer, Sacrament of Penance, inner healing prayer and the renewal of Holy Spirit prayer. I opened my heart to the Lord. I’ve come this far and I wanted to throw away all sins, truly repent and truly healed. I opened my heart to Jesus and asked him to heal any wound I have in my inner heart.
And during the break time, I went to counsel. I talked with Sister Andrea about my regression of my spiritual life. I feel like I am walking in the place. And she explained to me about St. John the Cross spirituality about spiritual desolation.
We’re going home tomorrow! But I was not done yet with my heart. There’s something wrong inside. I counsel again to the Sister and she prayed for me. She told me to pray the inner healing prayer every day before going to bed. After she prayed for me, I feel better. I went to the Chapel again to have Adoration during the break time. I just sat there and silently looked at the Blessed Sacrament. And I felt much better after the Adoration.
We had the nature meditation in the morning and calling Mass in the afternoon. We also had several performances and an introduction to religious vocation by the Sisters and Brothers from various congregations. Fr. Benny, O.Carm led the Mass and shared the story of his vocation.
In the evening we had the campfire! Yey! We gathered outdoor. Before that, we were to ld to write a letter to Jesus and put the letter in a decorated box. And then we went outside, the crew lighted up the campfire. First, they burnt the ropes that hung to a piece of love-sign. When the fire reach to top of the rope, the love-sign was burnt and it fell down then burnt the decorated box. Awesome! We danced and sang around the campfire. We lifted up give thanks to the Lord!
We went home today! It’s the closing Mass and ceremony of the camp. Fr. Benny led the Mass again. At the end of the Mass, we released some balloons. And we’re flying home! Back to Jakarta and with grateful heart back to reality.
Thank you Jesus, You led me to join this camp. This camp is a renewal retreat for my heavy burned and desolated heart. I am renewed again, renewed in my spirit, in my mind and in my motivation to love Jesus. I happily go home, knowing that my great days are not only during the camp, but also during my daily life.
Before the camp, I was desolated, but still I have my awesome days filled with Eucharist and Jesus. And after the camp, I think I’ll start my new spiritual journey and more awesome days.
Oh, here’s the camp’s theme song:
Yesus ku selalu ada di hatiMu
Sungguh kau pandangku berharga bagiMu
Di dalam setiap waktu hidupku
Tak sedetikpun kau tinggalkanku
Walau badai sungai dan api cobaan
yang harus kulewati dalam hidupku
Ku tak gentar tuk terus melangkah,
Karena kasihMu menopangku
Sumbu yang memudar tak Engkau padamkan
Buluh yang terkulai tak Engkau patahkan
Dengan sabar Kau angkat setiap ku jatuh
Betapa hatiku berterima kasih Yesus
Jesus, I always in Your eyes
You do see me worth to You
In every time of my life
Not a single moment You leave me
Though the strom, river and fire of trial
That must be passed in my life
I am not afraid to keep moving
Because Your love sustain me
A bruised reed You will not break
A faintly burning wick You will not quench
Patiently, You lift me when I fall
How my heart thank You, Jesus