Saturday-Sunday, 19-20 April 2008
Though I had to follow the retreat not from the beginning, I got some confirmation how I must serve my Lord.
Honestly, I thought that this retreat must be a great one, all of my serving friends in Prayer Meeting attended it and they all seemed so happy when I arrived there.
So, I try to ask mercy to God for giving me that happiness I had missed. So, I tried to recall why I wanted to serve Him (because that what I thought my other friends got from the previous session I had missed).
So, I recalled, recalled, and recalled, I arrived to a Chapel on the fourth floor in SMA Budi Mulia building, on the last prayer meeting I had in my junior high school.
It was the last meeting, I gathered with my non-Catholic friends in the prayer group, which we had prayed together for 3 years. I was really sad, so sad, that it was the last because I would graduated from the junior high and would move to a new school, which I dreamt since I was in the kindergarten.
I prayed, I wrestled in prayer to God, “God, plis, don’t let this be the last, I don’t want my relation with You ended here. Please send a teacher who will gathered us to pray in my senior high school, please make a group to pray together like this in my senior high school. I don’t want this end here, I don’t want this stop just like this, I want to love You till I’m old, I want to love You till my hair turned white.”
The last sentence was come from the core of my heart. Really. So, go back to the retreat. I remember those sentences, I knew why I was there on that day. I knew.
And through the sessions, I knew more how to serve Him well, I knew the right way and what will happen to me if I serve Him. It’s not easy to serve Him, it need struggle, wew!
And on the night, I got a prophecy from Ika. She said that God said to me to be more patient about my parents and the most shocking is she said that, “Tuhan ingin memakai kamu dengan luar biasa.”
Well, I wanted to laugh but I also believed He will. I had prayed for that. I had prayed since I was in my junior high school that I will not be His ordinary child, but I want to love Him and to be His extra-ordinary child.
Then, I asked for the record from the sessions I left. And I like the session which talked about the saints. Saint… that’s what I wanna be! All saints, didn’t ask for the Holy Spirit’s Gifts, they asked for mercy of God that they could be less and god became larger in them. A scripture-based prayer, haha… because I want to be a saint, I will try those! So, lately, I just asked for humbleness in my heart. Hehe..
Then, I tried the Holy Spirit Gift which often given and needed in a Prayer Meeting, a gift of speaking God’s message, that’s what Paul said for the Corinthians. We divided into groups, we prayed for one of the friends, we took turns.
For some message I got, my friends said it was true, well, halleluiah, thanks God. One thing, I learnt, to hear God’s message for a friend, doesn’t depend on what you feel (I felt so dry and tired and lonely not in the full charge), it depends on God’s mercy, just said what you got or you’ll never know whether it’s true or not.
Well, those just a little experience I got in the team’s retreat .
Thanks God for all.